Firstly, we need to get something straight. I am not a drunk. I like to drink, true, but I don't brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack, or anything crazy like that. I do go out at least twice a week to my neighborhood bar and have a few drinks. I'm well known there, and one of my trademarks is that I am always wearing funny t-shirts. The shirt I wore that night in particular was a gem that involved quite a funny joke about Kanye West. It's been forever since I wore it, so I'll refrain from butchering the joke here but, trust me, it was hilarious.
Being that Wednesday is one of the better nights to get soused with my comrades, we all met up at Paul's Place at around 7pm and I was proudly sporting one of my new funny t-shirts. My two friends and I ate some chicken wings, and starting pouring beer on top of them in our bellies. I love my bar and we were having a fantastic time, and there were even some girls there that have never been there before. We bought them drinks, we made them laugh, and turned the charm up to 10 while we played some shuffleboard. All in all, the night started off pretty great.
My Kanye West shirt was getting lots of laughs, so I guess most everyone pretty much shares my dislike for the man's superior attitude issues and I was glad I had chosen this one from my funny t-shirts.. The night went on, however, and I stopped caring about Mr. West altogether. I had reached that rare stage of drunkenness when I have had way too much and no longer care. This was the point when I believe my friends talked me into taking boilermakers. A boilermaker is a shot of whiskey dropped into a glass of beer, and you then down the whole thing at once. It is a terrible idea.
I admit that much of the night was a blur of lost memory at that point. One of my friends tapped out and went home, but my other buddy is between jobs and an awful influence, so he convinced me to say. I'm sure I said something repulsive to the girls we were with, because I certainly didn't wake up next to any of them. When the bar closed, my friend and I both knew we needed some food...badly. We jumped in a cab, headed to the local diner, and walked right in. I had no longer made my way to a stool at the counter when I heard a very deep voice behind me say, "That shirt supposed to be a joke, man?" It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my funny t-shirts.
Sometimes when you get drunk, you get extremely self-centered. The world revolves around you and nothing has the right to say anything snaky, critical, or even sometimes complimentary. I knew that this guy was being a sarcastic jerk, so I turned about to give him a piece of my mind. That was about as far as I got, because the voice belonged to one-half of the two biggest black dudes in all of New York. After speaking to them for a bit after realizing I wasn't about to die, I realized that they were security for Jay-Z and that they LOVED my awesome pick of funny t-shirts...which happened to be about Kanye West, if you'll remember.
Luckily, neither one of them liked him very much. The whole situation could have gone much different. They both laughed at me until tears were in their eyes when I asked them never to tell Kanye about it in all of the seriousness a drunk man can summon. I learned that night to choose my funny t-shirts a bit more carefully. You never know if you're going to run into Kanye Westor giant security guys who know him.
Being that Wednesday is one of the better nights to get soused with my comrades, we all met up at Paul's Place at around 7pm and I was proudly sporting one of my new funny t-shirts. My two friends and I ate some chicken wings, and starting pouring beer on top of them in our bellies. I love my bar and we were having a fantastic time, and there were even some girls there that have never been there before. We bought them drinks, we made them laugh, and turned the charm up to 10 while we played some shuffleboard. All in all, the night started off pretty great.
My Kanye West shirt was getting lots of laughs, so I guess most everyone pretty much shares my dislike for the man's superior attitude issues and I was glad I had chosen this one from my funny t-shirts.. The night went on, however, and I stopped caring about Mr. West altogether. I had reached that rare stage of drunkenness when I have had way too much and no longer care. This was the point when I believe my friends talked me into taking boilermakers. A boilermaker is a shot of whiskey dropped into a glass of beer, and you then down the whole thing at once. It is a terrible idea.
I admit that much of the night was a blur of lost memory at that point. One of my friends tapped out and went home, but my other buddy is between jobs and an awful influence, so he convinced me to say. I'm sure I said something repulsive to the girls we were with, because I certainly didn't wake up next to any of them. When the bar closed, my friend and I both knew we needed some food...badly. We jumped in a cab, headed to the local diner, and walked right in. I had no longer made my way to a stool at the counter when I heard a very deep voice behind me say, "That shirt supposed to be a joke, man?" It took me a minute to realize they were talking about my funny t-shirts.
Sometimes when you get drunk, you get extremely self-centered. The world revolves around you and nothing has the right to say anything snaky, critical, or even sometimes complimentary. I knew that this guy was being a sarcastic jerk, so I turned about to give him a piece of my mind. That was about as far as I got, because the voice belonged to one-half of the two biggest black dudes in all of New York. After speaking to them for a bit after realizing I wasn't about to die, I realized that they were security for Jay-Z and that they LOVED my awesome pick of funny t-shirts...which happened to be about Kanye West, if you'll remember.
Luckily, neither one of them liked him very much. The whole situation could have gone much different. They both laughed at me until tears were in their eyes when I asked them never to tell Kanye about it in all of the seriousness a drunk man can summon. I learned that night to choose my funny t-shirts a bit more carefully. You never know if you're going to run into Kanye Westor giant security guys who know him.
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